Self-care is essential to the pursuit of happiness. In order to be happy with ourselves, we need to take care of ourselves. For moms, or parents in general, that is easier said than done. Currently, I’m wearing sweatpants that I’ve had on for three days and I gave up on having nice hair a few months ago. I’m in survival mode. Prioritizing my self-care is what keeps me going on the hard days.

My battle with postpartum depression and anxiety is what lead me to the decision to start making lifestyle changes. I needed a few small tasks that I could check off of a list everyday to make me feel productive. Once I began implementing my small habits, I noticed that I slowly started going beyond my normal list and doing more. The change has felt really good.

Here are my three way I’m prioritizing self-care:

1. Make my bed.

This is such a small task that most people probably think is meaningless, but it has done wonders for my mental health. When I wake up in the morning the last thing I want to do is take the time to make my bed when I’ve got three kids to tend to. So I don’t. Usually what I do is go about my morning routine and when it’s time for Penelope’s nap that’s when I tidy the bedroom, including making the bed.

It takes about 45 seconds to do but has made such an impact on how my day flows. Then once it’s done I feel satisfied with how the bedroom looks and I look forward to bedtime. A made bed is a relaxing bed.

2. Read at least 20 minutes a day.

Reading is a habit that most people have, if I had to guess. It’s one of the fairly common New Year resolutions that you see your friends post about on Instagram and Facebook. Been there, done that. I’ve told myself that I would read so many books a month or year, then I would never meet that goal. So, I decided to make a more realistic goal that involved reading. For my current lifestyle, I can commit to 20 minutes a day.

My reading time is also one that I do during naptime. Most days I’m able to get the babies down at the same time for about an hour before one wakes up. Benny isn’t a fan of long naps like Penelope. Even if he isn’t asleep, I can put him in his activity walker or on the floor with toys while I take my 20 minutes. It’s for that exact reason why I knew that a 20 minute timeframe was right for me.

3. Wash and moisturize my face.

Again, another menial task. But since having Benny, being able to take a few minutes to wash my face feels like a luxury at times. He is such a fussy baby and has been a ton of work since day one. When I was in the trenches of post-partum depression (PPD), there were days when I didn’t even brush my teeth. I know, it sounds disgusting, but that’s what depression does.

Skincare became a huge priority for me about a year ago. I researched products, my skin type, and began going to work on figuring out how to keep my skin healthy. This is around the time I discovered Merit Beauty and other clean makeup brands. So, for a while, I was executing a 7-step skincare routine every single day. And that was just my morning routine.

Right now, my daily goal is to at least wash and moisturize my face. If I have the time and energy for more, great. If not, no big deal.

As someone who has lost a parent to suicide, mental health isn’t something I take lightly. For a long time I put myself to the side to take care of others and there are days when I still do that. That’s part of being a mother, I guess. But my kids deserve a happy mom who values her own well-being as much as her kids’. Prioritizing self-care is the least I could do. There are still a lot of changes I’d like to make down the line, like giving up my caffeine addiction.

For now, I’ll stick with the small things.

If you’re struggling with suicide, addiction, or self-harm, I urge you to visit TWLOHA and seek help. To Write Love On Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to helping those struggling. Help is possible.